Stand Up

Martin Luther King, Jr. said in one of my favorite speeches of his "Stand up for righteousness! Stand up for justice! Stand up for truth!..."

I must speak to this...we're creating a bit of a spider web...as I was reading a friend's blog today and the question was posed about the true nature of the pirate, and the pirate within us all- I looked at my own life and pondered. Afterwards I went running- out in the country, the most beautiful cows and mountains rising up around me. The thunder was coming in again and it started to pour rain... and it is so wonderful to run in the rain. It just poured and poured. And as exhilarating as that is- it brought to mind the Pirate. I counseled with myself- what am I doing in my life? What am I standing up for? Where in my life am I not taking a stand for myself? I haven't been the pirate for myself lately- feeling stuck in a job and living in a place that's not best for my spirit. But I'm making a change now. Loving myself- one thing I realized in my preparations for the sweatlodge was that in my VQ preparations I had forgotten to thank someone- and that was me. I hadn't thanked me for everything. I'd thanked my critic and judge but hadn't thanked myself completely. Then I had a dream about that last night- about not judging myself. So there is one way I haven't been the pirate. I let injustice to myself by myself happen. Time to make a change.

Last night I took a stand, I had a realization and made a choice for myself. My job right now is one that has been a big challenge over the past year. One aspect of it I really love, the other aspects I have a very hard time dealing with- corporate structures and functions, etc. etc. Last night at 9pm we had a "mandatory store meeting". I live 30 min. away from my work and I'd already gone in for work and had come back home. I had a friend in town visiting for the night and many other things going on. As we cooked dinner and ate quickly and I rushed out the door with my pj-like comfy clothes on (my friend asked- 'you're wearing that to the meeting?' i said yes!). I took two dogs with me for the ride, got in the van and headed back down the seemingly long road back to work. I got about 5-10 minutes down the road before getting on the highway and said wait a minute- I don't have to do this!! they can't tell me what I do with my time and my life! this is MY life. This is my choice in how I spend my time- I work and I do a damned good job. So I'm going to give up everything that is important to me right now so I can rush there to sit and listen to bullshit and then come home late and miss my time with my friend and things that are important to me? I was also already very tired from the sweatlodge and healing the night before. I knew there would be no 'repercussions' if I didn't go- I wouldn't lose my job or anything. So I said a few obscinities and turned the opposite way. I was glad for my own inner pirate standing up for myself- and probably you'd have to know the whole story with the company, etc. to understand completely. But sometimes we get caught into ways of thinking or doing and get talked into how they want us to be and what they think is right or important- our inner pirate slowly sinks to the background.... not taking a stand for what is REAL, what is important, what is our TRUTH- whatever that may be. We all can live in any way we want- we have that freedom and we must stand up for it!! Don't get sucked into the bullshit! Bring on that impassioned roar. It may be a silly and small example but it was meaningful for me. A moment again of clarity.

So again today- what do I take a stand for? I stand up against injustice- against hatred and fear. I stand up against a lack of realness..... look at me, talk to me, be real- be true- be loving and even in your hatred and fear let the love start to soak in and see there is no need to hate and fear. In all of your emotions- be real! And of course I am speaking to myself as well! Sometimes I've learned it's hard to figure out what is the best approach in your piracy- at times the strong in your face approach is best- i've come to find many times a more gentle approach seems to open a door for healing. Depends on the situation.

Speaking of my job- I have realized one thing about moving- if I go to Chattanooga with the company, although that is the security of having a job- it's really based on fear. Fear that I won't be able to find a job somewhere else, so if I went with the company I'd really just be staying in my happy prison- and that's simply fear! So... that probably answers that question ;)

Speaking of spiders- I have a grandmother spider who made her home on some potted plants on my porch railing- so I've left them there so she could have her home (she seemed quite happy with it- made an extensive web home). I see her every day but I haven't seen her in the past few days. I did see a dead spider upside down in her web but it didnt look like her... I'm wondering what's going on. Today I did see a teeny tiny spider and another small one. I miss her though! I'll keep you updated! ;)

I wish I could post a song for each day. I'd like that. Enough rambling.
Happy new moon tomorrow- time for new beginnings...