almost halfway through...

Gosh, I thought I'd be writing alot more here. Someday I'll be able to catch up. Things have been so busy.... all I've had time for is school, homework, dinner, sleep, school, homework, dinner, sleep- over and over again. It's the second weekend- I was able to work for part of the day yesterday at the center, and I have today off. I have a good amount of homework to do, but I need to do something relaxing also. I think I might bike over to the ocean, it's not too far away. I'd like to get iin some nature. The nice thing about this city is that there is a descent amount of green around- it's a big sprawling city, but there are trees and greenary, birds, etc. And, the climate allows for flowers and green in the winter (even though it feels nothing like winter...).

So, as far as school goes- I've been learning so much about myself- and about the dogs. I've been learning about the things that have been holding me back, my issues with anxiety, nervousness, feeling like something is wrong with me, I'm not good enough, I'm not able to do things. My teacher has been an immense help and I am so grateful for all he's done. With the dogs, I've been having to relearn everything. I've had to let go of everything I've known, except for my instincts. I've had to let go of my attachments to my own dogs, because even though we've been living together better than it could be, things have been out of balance, and I know that for sure now. There is a basic need for dogs, and that is for someone to be in control. When the human is not in control, the dog feels it needs to be. This is what causes the imbalance. So, I can't wait to get home and change everything with them so I can give them the best life possible. I've had to let go of my attachments to my dogs and what I've projected on them. OF course I'm only doing this at a distance right now. It's going to take alot of discipline on my part when I return home. But I can't wait. I also can't wait to help people and to help dogs. I am starting to see how much I will be able to help and change lives, simply from what I've seen with my own life.

I can't believe the month is almost halfway over.... that makes me really sad. I don't want to leave. I mean, I want to be home with my critters, but I like it here and I don't want it to end. This has been an amazing experience. That's all I've got time to write for now.... will write again when there is time... I hope you all are well!