It's a Good Day

Tonight I gave my two weeks notice to work. It's interesting- it feels so good- it's been a long time coming- I've been wanting to since February. I've been a year at my job and it's been difficult- it's been a great lesson in learning to deal with difficult situations and to be ok with it. It started as one thing and turned into another. It was me giving everything I had and not getting much in return. What I did get in return was love and support from the really great people I worked with. It's interesting- it's like being in an unhealthy relationship- it's funny how you might try to talk yourself out of getting out of it- although you know with all of yourself that it's not right and not what's best for you- you try to wait and see if it will change- to see if it will get better- and sometimes it seems like it will, but it never does. That's exactly what it's been like. It was an unhealthy relationship. It was not good for me. It's that thing we've heard a thousand times... the definition on insanity. Now that I've told a few people it's interesting to hear their reactions.... some people have been so supportive and I really need that right now. Most people are shocked and wonder why..... and I wonder- have you been listening to me??? Maybe people just can't really understand unless they're right there with you. I don't know. But I so appreciate those of you who have given me love and support. It's something I've thought alot about- and it's taken two weeks to do it... I was ready to two weeks ago. Tonight at work when I was getting ready to do it, I started to cry. That was unexpected.... I realized that I've invested alot of myself into this job- into this store- into creating and building something successful and great. But, it didn't work out like that. So it's alot of letting that go. Also, when I moved here just over a year ago, I didn't know what I was doing and it was exciting to move here, and it meant alot to me to get the job. And, I've been very thankful to have had the job. But also it kind of consumed my life. And now I'm realizing there's a whole other world out there besides the patterns I'd been keeping myself locked in. So, it's a good day. It's scarey and I don't know what the future holds, but I have glimpses and I know what I want and how I'm going to create my life as of now. I'm going to keep walking and trust in life and myself...